Vibrations of unrecognizable dance music course through me. Amidst eyes laden with alcohol and sounds rushing from mouths unhindered by sobriety, I watch. My hand twirls a glass full of wine, which I have no motivation to consume. I feel anxious. Anxious to figure out what I'm doing with myself.
Lists fill my head...
one. find more plastic bags. two need to finish art project. three. remember to wake up early to volunteer. four. need to figure out time to work out amidst work, school, and volunteering. five. sophie needs more dog food. six. it's still six right? fix my car. but, I need to figure out medical bills. Medical bills... I need to go to the doctor about my tumor. Money. oh yeah.. taxes. finances.. should i graduate next quarter. School. my art isn't good enough. will I be okay in the real world? should I travel? should I move? am I just running away? I really need to make more time for friends. seven. sophie should go to the vet. eight. how are these girls so skinny? I work out six days a week. does it... Hi.
A boy with a kind face approaches. I recognize him as the vivacious girl's boyfriend. He seems more reserved, but their commonality is an important one. They both seem to exude love. This is hard to explain. Imagine a hippy. Now, take away the drugs, unkempt hair, and mismatched clothes, but keep the altruistic aura. I have a knack for first perceptions.
The conversation started as most do. I hear you go to UW. What's your major? Architecture and art. Really. I was told I should be an architect, but I'm studying film. I am really interested in green architecture.
I stand at hearing this. Does he mean this or is he just another person who thinks green architecture is merely using somewhat recycled materials to justify tearing down perfectly good houses to build condos? The conversation progresses and within a few minutes, I found myself completely enlivened. We began speaking of how awe-struck we were of the upcoming visit by the Dalai Lama. A symbol of such love.. in front of us.. live.. inspiring.. filling us with hope.. changing lives. Talking about how we are torn by finding out our childhood dreams aren't our current dreams. No longer do I want to build big buildings and big houses that will make my famous at the expense of the environment.. no longer does he want to make big films in Hollywood at the expense of people closing their eyes to the world around them. There has to be more. We can use our professions to make a difference. We lament about our surroundings and the destruction of this beautiful earth. How can we change the culture to care less about what is profitable and more about what is right. His girlfriend approaches and drifts seamlessly into our discussion. I am overjoyed to find that she is just as passionate. We talk about things I only write about, because I don't feel like people want to listen.
This is what I am missing right now. This is the cause of my hollow core. I need to find more people who are passionate about important matters and are ready to talk about it. We are so caught up in our own lives that the meaningful issues are pushed aside. People like them are my inspiration and hope. They are both passionate, but aren't hardened by the problems around them. Instead they exude love and from that love they try to help the world. I can only imagine the inspiration that will seep into my pores when I am in the presence of the Dalai Lama.
End note: This wasn't meant to sound pretentious or that I don't think my friends are amazing people. I think this may be how religious people might feel if they don't have many people who feel as strongly as they do about their beliefs. It doesn't mean I don't respect people who don't share my beliefs... you wouldn't be my friend if I didn't respect you. This blog was merely about how I met some people whose love and passion I want to aspire to embody.
No comments:
Post a Comment